I Made a Promise to Myself...

that I would write a little bit every day.  Nothing big, but write nonetheless.

At times I feel as though I have so much to say that I'm going to explode; other times I am wrung out and empty.    Today, I'm somewhere in between.

Hauling myself out of a major depressive episode (work burnout, resulting in a stress leave) has been a tough go.  I've been off work since the third week of March and, quite honestly, would be ecstatic to never have to step foot into my workplace ever again.  Admitting that to myself was a major step in my "recovery".

Now I'm trying to implement steps to change my life, and I'm finding that no matter how prepared you think you are, nothing gets you ready to resign from your job of almost twenty years.

I come from the Regina, the capital city of our province; where to obtain employment with the government is the ultimate career goal.  Good wages, excellent benefits, a pension, a union, opportunities to move up/down/around...and for the past I-don't-know-how-many-years that aspect has been the only thing keeping me there.  Well, that and the cachet I have attributed to the job I'm doing.  Not everyone gets to work in Courts, and most staff at law firms (where my career began), would give their eye teeth for the opportunity. I have a badge, I have handcuffs and a kevlar vest, and sometimes my job is SUPER cool.

But you know what?  No amount of "coolness", or prestige (real or imagined), or the ability to hobnob with high-end lawyers and Judges is worth what working in this office has done to me.  Frustration, anxiety, depression, nightmares, migraines...no job is worth that price.

In a perfect world, with a really good manager, my position would be one of the best in government.

In this world, with this management team, it's one of the worst.

Steve Writes a Sequel -- Doctor Sleep

Doctor Sleep by Stephen King
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I love Stephen King's work.  I grew up with Stephen King,  been reading him since I was 12 or 13.  His writing has impacted my reading choices, my movie choices, my writing voice and my love of pop culture.  I've learned TONS from him - he just jams so damn much stuff into his narrative you can't help but learn something - and certainly not the least of which was the expression "Jesus jumped up Christ in a sidecar".  I have virtually every single one of his books.  They fill a bookcase in my family room; the shelves  groan under the weight of all of those hardcovers.

For each of his books that have scared the ever-loving crap out of me (The Shining, 'Salem's Lot,  Pet Sematary, Bag of Bones) there have been almost the same number  that have moved me to tears (Lisey's Story, Insomnia, The Green Mile), left me feeling "meh" (The Tommyknockers) or been in a genre that, dammit, as much as I try to like it, I just don't (The Dark Tower series).

So I am what Steve refers to as his "Constant Reader", and this is my take on Doctor Sleep.

Initially I was leery about this one when it was billed as a "sequel to The Shining"  (What?!?  King has finally succumbed to the siren call of the series?  And he's sacrificing Danny Torrance to do it?!?!)  After having read it, I would say it isn't so much a sequel as it is a revisit; answering the question of how Danny turned out after that terrible winter at the Overlook.

I was hooked by the third page - when King dropped me right into the mood and tone from The Shining.  My skin crawled and my shoulders tensed, and I was back in the bathroom of Room 217 at the Overlook.  (And we all remember what was lying in that bathtub.)

Danny has turned out much as we would expect from a kid who spent the winter dodging dead folks, hedge animals and a crazed father with a sledgehammer; that is to say, fucked up.  He drinks, like his dad did, and loses jobs, like his dad did.  His shine is almost gone and the drinking keeps it that way.  Doctor Sleep is the story of Dan's redemption.

One thing that you notice when you've been reading King for this long is how much he has changed as a writer since he started.  The other thing you notice is how much you have changed as a reader.  I read a magazine review of this book earlier this week where the reviewer referred to King's treatment of his characters as "tender", and really, there is no better way to phrase it.

King is a freaking master of characterization - to read one of his books is to lose yourself completely in the characters he has created.  Doctor Sleep is no different.  King's handle on his characters is so complete that to finish one of his books leaves the reader bereft; and gives his novels a sense of poignancy that becomes stronger with each book.  This is where (imo) King has changed.  In his earlier novels, although you still had a strong, almost visceral sense of his characters' identities, there was usually an undertone of unease, or fear, or horror, that permeated the book.  Sometimes that tone was enough to make me feel like I couldn't finish the book fast enough.  For me, that sense is what has changed over the years.   His characters might not be any more sympathetic than they were in the 1980s, but he writes them more sympathetically.  (If that makes any sense!)

Oops, I digress.

If King perhaps didn't give Dan the specific type of story I thought I was looking for (a "true" sequel to The Shining, with a return to the Overlook, perhaps, with characters we met in the first book), he gave him the only story he could:  and if I tell you what that is, I'll spoil it.

This was really, really good.  4 stars.


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Review: My morbid side takes over - Aftermath, Inc.

Aftermath, Inc.: Cleaning Up After CSI Goes Home by Gil Reavill
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I have always been a somewhat morbid sort, so you can see why this book appealed to me immensely.

It's an easy read, with tons of gnarly detail and incisive wit.  I laughed out loud a number of times while reading, mostly from passages like this, where the author is referring to the death of a kid on his little league team when he was seven:

"You always remember your first dead body.  The following afternoon at the funeral home, Chucky was a waxen figure arrayed in a coffin of polished mahogany, somehow more elegant in death than he had been in life, at least on the baseball diamond, where his fielding skills left something to be desired.  W.C. Fields used to call death "the Fellow in the Bright Nightgown."  For me, he was always a Little League Shortstop."

Call me cracked, but that paragraph made me burst out laughing.  My husband was appalled.  :)

While this particular book became an essay by the author about the meaning of life and death, it was entertaining in its way and I learned a ton of interesting tidbits that I can use socially (like that Dylan's song, Mr. Tambourine Man, was written after a trip to New Orleans where he watched a number of jazz funerals - the hearse was led by a man tapping a tambourine.  Who knew that song was so morbid?).

Ultimately, though, I finished this quickly and was vaguely disappointed at the end.  I was looking for a deeper look at the business itself and the people who do this for a living.  Other reviews have recommended Mop Men: Inside the World of Crime Scene Cleaners, so perhaps I'll check that book out as well.

If you're looking for a bit of an eyeball at the business, a few disgusting, a few disturbing and a couple of downright disquieting crime scene stories you'll find them here.

3 stars.


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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Doesn't matter if you're mom to a child, step-child, foster child, dog, cat, lizard, hamster, husband, an honorary mom to half the kids who live on your street...hope you all had a great day.

I got taken out for brunch, had a nap, then got to visit with a girlfriend I hadn't seen in 10 years.  I can't think of a better way to spend a warm, sunny Sunday in May.

Enjoy, everyone!

Review: Wallbanger (or, For God's Sake, This is twific too???)

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Someone HAS to start telling me when I'm reading fanfic.  Especially Twilight fanfic.

A friend recommended this to me (waves), I checked out the sample from Amazon, it looked like fun, so I read it.  And then found out it was P2P fanfic.  I've said it before with other books, and I'll say it again - I feel like Eric Cartman:



So, without talking about the fanfiction angle, let me just say this about the book:

It was funny.  Laugh out loud funny in parts, trying-too-hard to be funny in others.
It had great bicker/banter.  She called him "Wallbanger", he called her "Cockblocker".
It had great tension.  For the first 1/2 of the book.  Then it just dragged on too long, IMHO.
It had some great sex in it.  'Nuff said about that.
It seemed like a pretty true portrayal of late 20-somethings.  Or, at least how I remember late 20-somethings being.  On an episode of Friends.

Overall I'd have to say I liked it.  It was a fun read, even if it dragged on a little long, with a of other things that that brought my rating down.  A Guest Reviewer at Dear Author reviewed this book the other day.  She says things way better than I can, so here's the link to it (and if you read the comments there's an interesting discussion starting about fanfiction):

http://dearauthor.com/book-reviews/ov...



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I can't stop buying shoes

I feel like Gollum. "Yesssssssss, my pretties, my precious....."


Ordering 3 pair at one time is perfectly acceptable, NAY, dare I say REQUIRED behaviour when our winter has lasted now for 7 months with no signs of going away.

If I order open-toed shoes and sandals spring MUST come, right?

A tattooed, pierced, goateed hunk of hotness...

Leave Me Breathless by Cherrie Lynn
My rating: 5 of 5 stars


My secret thing (or not so secret, depending who you talk to) is that I've always loved bad boys.  On tv, in movies, in books, in my head...my only stipulation has always been that they're never as bad as they LOOK like they are.

Lately the best place to find men like this is in contemporary romance/erotica.  You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a tattooed, pierced, goateed hunk of hotness with a gravelly voice and an ability to screw you absolutely senseless.

So without further ado, let's meet Seth, or "Ghost", as his friends call him.  He's a tattoo artist, musician in a death metal band, covered in ink and carrying a whole bunch of baggage.  The requisite gravelly voice and supernatural sexxing ability is there (in SPADES, I might add) and with a restored '69 GTO and very interesting piercing I would like to have Ghost all to myself.

Macy, his love interest, is almost the perfect foil for him.  Yin to his yang, so to speak.  I don't think they would ever be able to go to a concert together, but hey, my husband doesn't like Depeche Mode and I still married him.

The writing is good, the sex is steamy and the H/h are realistic - not much more a girl can ask for when looking for an entertaining way to spend a Saturday afternoon!

I usually read historical romances where an HEA is the standard.  It takes a bit of getting used to when switching to something closer to erotica  - the endings are more of a "Happy For Now".  This is the first book I've read by this author and based on this one I'm going to go snag her backlist.  This title is the third of a series, it seems.  Another bonus - a series entry that reads like a stand alone!

Thanks to my friend Catherine for a truly great recommendation -- we really should read these kinds of books more often!  ;D


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